Islam. I live for it: backbitting

Showing posts with label backbitting. Show all posts

Sister send me question, what to reply ::

As-Salamu Alykum Brother !! Hope are you fine. I want to ask something which i am confuse about. There is a sister who is my friend and her mother used to be friend of my mother. Few days ago someone backbite about them to my mother due to which my mother have left talking to the mother of my Friend . My friend and her mother always say me to convey salam and love to my mother...whenever i chat with them or talk to them. My mother donot like to hear about them so i am afraid if i convey there salam ..my mother will scold me in some way... What should i do? Should i tell them that donot send salam because my mother donot even want to hear your name and scold me whenever i try to say that we must live like Prophet said be brothers... or should i convey salam and donot care what my mother says to me? Please help me i am confuse.

Replied by Br. Engr Mohammad Ali:

As-salam,

Brother and sisters, It sometime, we are enable to understand the serious of few issues from just reading text so watch a video and after video you may reading islamic ruling posted below the video.

Repentance (tawbah) involving backbiting (gheeba) and whether the person offended must be informed

ANSWER:
The answer will depend on the nature of the interests of the people involved. If the case is such that if he were to inform them of what he had once said about them, it would not be likely to increase their anger, then, he should do that and seek their forgiveness. He may then tell them - in general terms, and without offering details - that he had wronged them in the past by expressing such sentiments about them that were not right and just, and that now he has repented and seeks their forgiveness.

But if the case is the opposite, that is, the fear is that if he told them of the previous backbiting or slander, they will - and in most cases that is most likely to happen - be angry with him, or will not be satisfied with the general terms, rather, will demand to know all the details, which is sure to provoke them to anger, them, in such a case, it is not obligatory on him to let them know and seek their forgiveness. For the shari'ah does not order adding insult to injury. And informing a person who was in a happy mood, of things that will evoke feelings of distress or anger, is something against the purpose of the shari'ah, which enjoins the spread of happiness and brotherliness. In fact, sometimes such action may give place to animosity where there was love. In such situations it is enough to repent in the following manner.
Evoke in oneself the feeling of regret, and seek forgiveness from Allah accompanied by the conviction that it was an abominable and unlawful thing in which he had indulged. Try and make up for what he had said earlier before others by denying the presence of things and qualities he had alleged were in them and clear the person or persons involved. Follow up by mentioning and asserting good qualities of those he had spoken ill of in the presence of the same people in whose company he had slandered them. Defend the people he had slandered when they are slandered in his presence. Pray to Allah in private to forgive the sins and shortcomings of those he had wronged. (See Madaarij Al-Salikin, and Al-Mughni with explanatory notes for further elucidation).

You must note, dear brother Muslim or sister Muslima, that there is a difference between the material rights of the people and non-material rights, between backbiting and defamation. When the material rights are returned to the people, they are put to some use and cause increase in happiness, and therefore they must not be put under the mattress. Whereas non-material rights, such as those concerning a man's honor, when returned to the people can only cause increase in distress.

REFERENCE http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/99/Backbiting

ALL PRAISES BE TO ALLAH

Backbiting is one of the worst social evils which has been strictly condemned by Allah and His Rasool (p.u.bh).The person who back bites is like the one who eats the meat of his dead brother.No one will like to eat meat of the dead brother but most of us are ready to insult and redicule their brothers and sisters in their absence.This results in promotion of unrest in this life and hellfire in hereafter.

i,e of backbiting

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

الحمد الله

The evils of the tongue

Backbiting

The definition of backbiting has been clearly explained in the hadeeth reported by Muslim (4/2001) upon the authority of Aboo Hurairah that:

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Do you know what backbiting is?”

They said: “Allaah and His Messenger know best.”

He said: “Mentioning your brother with that which he dislikes.”

It was said to the Prophet (Salla Allaahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam): “Even if what I mention about my brother is true?” He (Salla Allaahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam) said:

“If what you have said concerning him is true, then surely you have backbitten him; and if what you said isn’t true, then surely you have slandered him.”

As for his statement: “You have slandered him.” An-Nawawi (commenting upon this in) (Sharh Muslim 16/142), said: “The Haa is to be pronounced lightly, and it takes a fathah. It means: that which you have said about him was slander, and this is because it was false.”

[ALL PRAISES BE TO ALLAH]

Backbiting, a sin which we actually don’t realize a sin. One of the major moral vice; spreading rapidly among the people, used to call gossip, slander, backbite, whisper, talk behind someone’s back, criticize and so on In point of fact, we ourselves don’t know why we do it. (PARWEEZA)

In surah Hujrat, Allah says,

O you who believe! Avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin, and do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, surely Allah is Oft-returning (to mercy), Merciful.

And further Allah says,

No one make back bite. Any one among you would like to eat the meat of his dead brother

Various ahadeeth and sayings:

“…Backbiting is to say something about your brother that he would dislike…If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” [Muslim]

“When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear God as regards us, for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked.’” [Tirmidhi]

It was narrated in the Hadith relating the story of Mi’raj (Ascent): “The Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by people with copper fingernails – with which they scratch their own faces and chests. He asked: “Who are those, Gabriel?” It was answered: “Those are the people who eat the flesh of other people and vilify their honor.”

It was narrated that a man brought two fasting women to the Prophet (pbuh) – for they were dying of thirst. The Prophet (pbuh) turned away, silently refusing to give permission for them to break their fast. So, the man begged him again, mentioning that the women were on the verge of death. The Prophet then said, “Bring them to me and bring along a bowl.” When they turned to him, he turned to one and told her to vomit in the bowl. She complied, spitting up a mixture of vomit, blood, pus and pieces of flesh which half filled the bowl. He then turned to the other and had her do the same. After the bowl was filled, the Prophet (pbuh) reportedly said, “Verily these two have fasted from what Allah has made halaal for them; and broken their fast from what Allah has made haraam. They spent their fast eating the flesh of others.” [Ahmad]

“… Do not backbite Muslims, and do not search for their faults – for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault; and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in the open for everyone to see – even if he hid it in the innermost part of his house.” [Abu Dawud; Tirmidhi, others]
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (or insult) his neighbour…” [Bukhari]

“Whoever guarantees me (the chastity of) what is between his legs (i.e. his private parts), and what is between his jaws (i.e., his tongue), I guarantee him Paradise.” [Bukhari]

Scholar Hasan al-Basri reportedly said:

“I swear by Allah: backbiting is swifter in consuming the religion of a Muslim than a gangrenous infection is in consuming the human body.” {PARWEEZA}

source of article