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hijab of man

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In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

Oh, Men of Muslim community, stop looking at women

Allah says:

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

[Surah Al-Nur verse 30]

Jareer ibn ‘Abdullaah said:

"I asked the Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) about an accidental glance at a woman. He commanded me to turn my gaze away."
(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: This is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. See al-Sunan, 2700).

Commenting on this hadeeth, al-Mubaarakpoori said:

" ‘Accidental’ means that his gaze fell on a non-mahram woman unintentionally. ‘He commanded me to turn my gaze away’ means that he was not to look a second time, because the first glance was not by choice and would be forgiven, but any further glances would be counted as sin, and he should heed the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…’ [al-Noor 24:30]"

The Messenger of Allaah (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) said:

"O Ali, do not follow a glance with another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second."

(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2701; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7953)

In al-Tuhfah, he said:

"The words ‘do not follow a glance with another’ mean do not look again after the first glance. ‘You will be forgiven for the first’ means that you will be forgiven if the first glance was unintentional, and ‘but not for the second’ means that because the second glance was by choice, it will be counted against you."

So it is clear that deliberately looking at a non-mahram woman and continuing to look after a first accidental glance is haraam. It is forbidden to look at any part of her body, whether you think she is beautiful or not, whether it provokes sexual desire or not, whether it is accompanied by evil thoughts or not, and whether it leads to immoral deeds or not.

We ask Allaah to protect you and us from all haraam deeds. Allaah is the One Who guides to the Straight Path.
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SOURCE:

ISLAMQA

QURAN.COM

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Praise be to Allaah.

Question:

My Problem is that i can not stop looking so-called clothes girls which do wanton display (tabarruj) {with out islamic hijab} around me in school, market and everywhere in my Country.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

This situation leads to haraam things and major sins, including mixing, touching and zina (unlawful sexual relationships), all of which stem from looking.

Sharee’ah came to forbid the ways that lead to immorality, one of which is looking at non-mahram women.

1 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”

[al-Noor 24:30]

Imaam Ibn Katheer said:

This is a command from Allaah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them. So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/282

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts”

[al-Ahzaab 33:53]

3 –

It was narrated that Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: “I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about a sudden glance, and he commanded me to avert my gaze.”

(Narrated by Muslim, 2159)

al-Nawawi said:

What is meant by a “sudden glance” is when a person’s glance unintentionally falls upon a non-mahram woman. There is no sin on him for the first glance, but he must avert his gaze immediately. If he averts his gaze immediately there is no sin on him, but if he continues looking, then he will be a sinner, because of this hadeeth, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded him to avert his gaze,

and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)”

[al-Noor 24:30]

Men must lower their gaze and refrain from looking at them in all circumstances, unless that is for a valid shar’i reason, such as giving testimony, medical treatment, wanting to propose marriage, buying a slave woman, engaging in financial transactions such as buying and selling, etc. In all these cases it is permissible to look as much as is needed, and no more. And Allaah knows best.

Sharh Muslim, 14/139

Secondly:

There are means which help a person to lower his gaze, and we ask Allaah to help you to do them:

1 – Bearing in mind the fact that Allaah is watching you, that He sees you and is with you (by His knowledge) wherever you go. It may be a secretive glance of which your neighbour is unaware, but Allaah knows of it.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the hearts conceal”

[Ghaafir 40:19]

2 – Seeking the help of Allaah, beseeching Him and calling upon Him (du’aa’).

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord said: Invoke Me [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism) and ask Me for anything] I will respond to your (invocation).”

[Ghaafir 40:60]

3 – You should know that every blessing you enjoy comes from Allaah, and requires that you should give thanks. Part of the gratitude for the blessing of sight means that you should protect it from looking at that which Allaah has forbidden. Is there any reward for good, other than good? [cf. al-Rahmaan 55:60]

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allaah”

[al-Nahl 16:53]

4 – Striving with your self and training yourself to lower your gaze and be patient in doing so, and not giving up.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning:

“As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allaah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:69]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever seeks to be chaste, Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allaah will make him independent of means, and whoever strives to be patient, Allaah will make him patient…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1400)

5 – Avoiding places where a person feels he will be exposed to the temptation of looking, if he can manage to avoid them, such as going to marketplaces or malls, and sitting in the street.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Beware of sitting in the street.” They said, “We have no alternative; that is where we sit and talk.” He said, “If you insist on sitting there, then give the street its rights.” They said, “What are the rights of the street?” He said, “Lowering the gaze and refraining from causing offence…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2333; Muslim, 2121).

6 – You should realize that you have no choice in this matter, regardless of what the circumstances are and no matter how great the temptation or motive to do evil, and no matter what emotions and overwhelming desires stir in your heart. You must lower your gaze and refrain from looking at haraam things in all places and at all times. You cannot use excuses such as the environment being corrupt or justify your mistakes by saying that there is a lot of temptation around.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error”

[al-Ahzaab 33:36]

7 – Doing a lot of naafil acts of worship, because doing a lot of them whilst also regularly doing obligatory acts of worship is a means of protecting one's physical faculties.

According to a hadeeth qudsi,

Allaah said:

“… and My slave continues to draw close to Me with supererogatory (naafil) works so that I shall love him. And when I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask (something) of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it.”

(al-Bukhaari, 6137

8 – Remembering that the earth on which sin is committed will bear witness.

Allaah says:

“That Day it will declare its information (about all that happened over it of good or evil)”

[al-Zalzalah 99:4]

9 – Remembering the angels who are recording your deeds.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“But verily, over you (are appointed angels in charge of mankind) to watch you,

Kiraaman (Honourable) Kaatibeen —writing down (your deeds),

They know all that you do”

[al-Infitaar 82:10-12]

10 – Bearing in mind some of the texts which forbid letting the gaze wander freely, such as the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)”

[al-Noor 24:30]

11 – Avoiding looking unnecessarily, so that you only look at what you need to look at, and you do not let your gaze wander right and left so that it falls upon something the effects and fitnah of which cannot be got rid of quickly.

12 – Marriage, which is one of the most effective remedies.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and in guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1806; Muslim, 1400).

13 – Fasting – because of the hadeeth quoted above.

14 – Doing obligatory acts of worship as Allaah has commanded, such as prayer.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahshaa’ (i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45]

15 – Remembering al-hoor al-‘ayn, which will give you a motive to be patient in avoiding that which Allaah has forbidden, hoping to get al-hoor al-‘ayn.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Companions of Equal Age ”

[al-Naba’ 78:33]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“… If a woman of the people of Paradise were to look out over the people of this earth, it would light up everything in between and fill it with fragrance, and the veil of her head is better than this world and everything in it.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2643).

16 – Bearing in mind the shortcomings of the one who is looked at and the filth and waste material they carry in their gut.

17 – Being ambitious and focusing on nobler things.

18 – Checking on yourself from time to time and striving to make yourself lower your gaze whilst realizing that everyone makes mistakes.

19 – Thinking of the pain and regret that will result from this looking, and the effects of letting one’s gaze wander.

20 – Understanding the benefits of lowering one's gaze, as mentioned above.

21 – Bringing up this topic in meetings and gatherings, and explaining its dangers.

22 – Advising your relatives, telling them not to wear clothes that attract attention and show their attractions, such as how they dress, wearing bright colours, how they walk, speaking too softly, etc.

23 – Warding off passing thoughts and whispers from the Shaytaan before they take hold and are acted upon. Whoever lowers his gaze after the first glance will be saved from innumerable problems, but if he keeps looking he cannot be certain that seeds that will be difficult to remove will not be planted in his heart.

25 – Being afraid of a bad end, and of feeling regret at the point of death.

26 – Keeping company with good people, because you are naturally affected by the characteristics of the people you mix with, and a person will follow the way of his close friend, and a friend will pull you to follow his way.

27 – Knowing that the zina of the eye is looking, and that should be sufficient to put you off.

Adapted from an essay entitled Ghadd al-Basr (Lowering the Gaze) by a student of sharee’ah.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

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SOURCE LINK: http://islamqa.com/en/ref/20229

Published by: Mohammad Rana Usman Nisar

In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

In today's life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims. The article, originally contributed by several bloggers and readers on MuslimMatters.org, is divided in two parts and will list out ways to keep up your spouse's love. Feel free to write to us your own list with experiences. Having said that, let's take on the men first, here's how you can keep up your wife's love:

1. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere Salaams.

3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.

4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.

7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.

8. Look good and smell great for your wife.

9. Don't be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.

12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.

13. A pleasant surprise.

14. Preserve and guard the tongue.

15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.

18. Speak of the topic of her interest.

19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.

20. Give each other gifts.

21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don't nitpick.

24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.

25. Expect and respect her jealously.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.

28. Help at home, with housework.

29. Help her love your relatives, but do not try to force her.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.

31. Remember your wife in Duâa.

32. Leave the past for Allah, do not dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.

33. Do not act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.

35. Put food in your wife's mouth.

36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

37. Show her your smile.

38. Do not ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.

39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.

40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.

41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.

42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.

43. Help her take care of the children.

44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.

45. Sit down and eat meals together.

46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.

47. Don't leave home in anger.

48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.

49. Encourage each other in worship.

50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.

51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.

52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don't jump on her like a bull.

53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don't take it outside.

54. Show care for her health and well-being.

55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.

56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.

58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.

59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.

60. Have a good intention for her.

61. Cook a dish for her.

62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.

63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.

64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.

65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.

66. Send your wife an email without a reason.

67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.

68. Do something for your wife's family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.

69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.

70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.

71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.

72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.

73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.

74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she's been reading.

75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur'an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.

76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.

78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.

79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.

80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.

81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking). '“

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