Crush , Infatuation, Affair... The World of Broken Hearts by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala


I received a message from a school girl.  She claims she has a  CRUSH on her male teacher. The poor fellow thinks that she is in love and confesses that she does everything to please her male teacher. She dresses up neatly, she completes her journal.She always appreciates her teacher ... But later she came to know that her crush is already engaged with many girls. So  now she has a broken heart, frustrated, depressed , unable to focus on studies and always a sad and a gloomy mood accompanies her.This young girl is not the only girl to have crush on her senior.  She may not be from a highly liberated environment. It can be that she may come from a modest practicing Muslim family.

Most of the times, a crush is a one sided attraction followed by day dreaming and fantasy love story. giving a tickling tickling feeling when one hides her /his face in the pillow and takes a tour of the world of  rosy thoughts that may never turn to be true. ' Crush' means a 'temporary liking'. So when you're referring to crush on someone, mind well that it exactly  does in the end- it crushes you. If you have a crush, your heart will not tolerate your crush to even smile or talk to  any of your gender and in the end you will find  your heart, dreams, fantasies crushed by the truthful reality.

The dictionary meaning of infatuation is : "A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction"

The dictionary meaning of crush is : "An intense but usually short-lived infatuation"

  Teens find romance and affairs everywhere around them. In schools they hear romantic stories about  teachers and students going around. In novels  they read about an average looking girl falling in love with a  good looking princely man and end up marrying him living happily after.  In movies and serials they see young and aged, rich and poor, rough and soft , every type of people having girl friends and boyfriends so they develop a desire to taste it. Affairs are circulated everywhere from  TV serials to gossip columns, Campus to corporate offices, Head lines to cover stories, slums and  palaces..Everybody seems to be into it so nobody wants to raise an eyebrow on that.

   But rarely people find stories of broken hearts. In TV serials they show it,  but they compensate the girl with another better looking  boy. There is not a single movie or TV serial or Chat show where a central character is made to realize that it was foolish to fall into it . Falling in and out of affair is very common now a days. There are no tablets and syrups to treat broken hearts. Nor can they be treated with surgery. In a failed affair it is the girl who undergoes a huge pain in heart.

In real life ,  in many cases the boys end up saying :
  • I am sorry , I will marry a girl my Mom chooses for me
  • I saw you talking to other boys so your character is not trustworthy
  • We were just friends but you went too deep
  • I cant  marry you till I get settled.
   The dictionary meaning of love is : "A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness" . The definition is correct, but it cannot be found  before wedding if it is a genuine. People can fake love through gifts, valentine cards, humour, rose day and birthday cards...and the poor girl may get carried away.Girls must realize that love cant be searched on your own. Allah says He has put love and affection in your spouse's heart.. and spouses are not those whom you pick up on facebook and  class rooms and neighbourhood but they are the one who are approved by your guardian.

  The world of broken hearts is more painful than the world of broken bones because there is no plastering on hearts. No X-ray can  can show the rift in the heart.. No cardiogram can  give an ECG report of the spiritual pain of a broken heart. NO actor can fake a painful role..because a broken heart has no tongue that will scream nor can blood gush out after an affair has been broken. It is felt within..So be careful before you leap into some one's heart..NO wonder why the Qur'an says : Do not go close to Zina ( Introduction to namahram, receiving compliments from co workers, neghbours and classmates, checking of profiles of Namahram....)